Much ado about nothing full text

5.40  ∑  1,846 ratings  ∑  315 reviews
much ado about nothing full text

Much Ado About Nothing by William Shakespeare

Much Ado About Nothing, abridged.

CLAUDIO: So, um, Hero, I sorta maybe like you a whole lot will you go to the prom with me?

HERO: We should get married! Squeeeeeee!

BEATRICE: Pfft. Love is for stupid losers who are stupid.

BENEDICK: You know, you might get laid more often if you werenít such a cynical bitch all the time.

BEATRICE: Fuck you.

BENEDICK: Get in line, sugartits.

*audience is beaten over the head by sexual tension*

DON PEDRO: Hey everybody, I had a great idea! Letís make Beatrice and Benedick fall in love!

EVERYONE: YAY! MEDDLING!

PRINCE JOHN: So, I think Iím going to break up Claudio and Hero.

BORACHIO: Really? Thatís your dastardly scheme? How do we possibly benefit from that?

PRINCE JOHN: No, see, I donít like Claudio because my half-brother likes him, and I hate my half brother, soÖwait. Okay, so itís actually a really pointless plan that only serves to create conflict. But itís the only way I get any good scenes in this thing, so MISCHIEF AHOY!

BORACHIO AND CONRADE: YAY!

BEATRICE: Hey Benedick, you still suck donkey balls.

BENEDICK: I fart in your general direction! Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!

BEATRICE: I dont want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper!

PRINCE JOHN: So guess what Claudio? Your woman totally cheated on you. I saw, I was there.

CLAUDIO: OMG I HATE THAT WHORE.

DON PEDRO: Despite the fact that heís a bastard in all senses of the word and has no reason to be helping me or my friends, I think we should believe John without proof or even asking Heroís side of the story.

CLAUDIO: Hero, youíre a shameless whore and I hate your stupid face!

EVERYONE: WTF?!

PRIEST: Great job, now Heroís dead from sad.

CLAUDIO: OMG I AM SO REMORSEFUL. FORGIVE ME, DEAD HERO!

HERO: Pysche! Iím really okay!

BEATRICE: Luckily THIS time the priestís idea to fake a girlís death to solve all her problems actually worked, instead of backfiring horribly.

BENEDICK: Hey, thatís pretty funny. You know, I guess youíre not that bad. I think I love you, and stuff.

BEATRICE: Yeah, I guess I kind of love you too.

ANTONIO: Close enough. Now off to kill Prince John!

EVERYONE: YAY!

THE END.
File Name: much ado about nothing full text.zip
Size: 32908 Kb
Published 22.11.2018

William Shakespeare Much Ado About Nothing - FULL AudioBook

A victory is twice itself when the achiever brings home full numbers. I find here that Don Peter hath bestowed much honour on a young Florentine called Claudio .
William Shakespeare

Much Ado About Nothing Scenes

Messenger He is very near by this: he was not three leagues off when I left him. Messenger But few of any sort, and none of name. I find here that Don Peter hath bestowed much honour on a young Florentine called Claudio. Messenger Much deserved on his part and equally remembered by Don Pedro: he hath borne himself beyond the promise of his age, doing, in the figure of a lamb, the feats of a lion: he hath indeed better bettered expectation than you must expect of me to tell you how. Messenger I have already delivered him letters, and there appears much joy in him; even so much that joy could not show itself modest enough without a badge of bitterness. Messenger In great measure.

It is hard to imagine a world without Shakespeare. We still struggle to keep up with a writer who could think a mile a minute, whose words paint pictures that shift like clouds. These expertly edited texts are presented to the public as a resource for study, artistic adaptation, and enjoyment. By making the classic texts of the New Folger Editions available in electronic form as Folger Digital Texts, we place a trusted resource in the hands of anyone who wants them. Readers who want to know more about Shakespeare and his plays can follow the paths these distinguished scholars have tread by visiting the Folger either in-person or online, where a range of physical and digital resources exists to supplement the material in these texts. I commend to you these words, and hope that they inspire.

Be Book-Smarter.

Much Ado About Nothing is a comedy by William Shakespeare thought to have been written in and , as Shakespeare was approaching the middle of his career. The play was included in the First Folio , published in By means of "noting" which, in Shakespeare's day, sounded similar to "nothing" as in the play's title, [1] [2] and which means gossip, rumour, and overhearing , Benedick and Beatrice are tricked into confessing their love for each other, and Claudio is tricked into rejecting Hero at the altar on the erroneous belief that she has been unfaithful. At the end, Benedick and Beatrice join forces to set things right, and the others join in a dance celebrating the marriages of the two couples. In Messina , a messenger brings news that Don Pedro, a prince from Aragon , will return that night from a successful battle, Claudio being among his soldiers. Beatrice, niece of Leonato, a governor of Messina, asks the messenger about Benedick, Don Pedro's companion, and makes sarcastic remarks about his ineptitude as a soldier.

Leonato, the governor of Messina, is informed that Don Pedro of Arragon and his troop will be arriving this evening, returning victorious from a battle in which they lost almost no-one, and in which Count Claudio greatly distinguished himself. Leonato invites them all to stay, and presents his daughter Hero to the prince. Benedick is appalled that yet another bachelor has been turned into a lover. Claudio asks Don Pedro for help in wooing Hero, and Don Pedro offers to woo her for him in disguise at the masked ball that night, to see how she takes the proposal, and to take care of the details with Leonato. A victory is twice itself when the achiever brings home full numbers. He hath borne himself beyond the promise of his age, doing in the figure of a lamb the feats of a lion.

Much Ado About Nothing Please see the bottom of this page for related resources. Please see the bottom of each scene for detailed explanatory notes. Dramatis Personae. Act 1 Scene 1. Scene 2.

3 COMMENTS

  1. Falerina B. says:

    Harry potter books pdf archive best history textbooks of all time

  2. Miguel H. says:

    Timebomb lyrics walk the moon law school survival kit jeff adachi

  3. Finley P. says:

    Much Ado About Nothing: Entire Play

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *